Strange "Muffin Man" Sighted

 is a newspaper article written by Clyde Everett that appeared in Episode 2.

Transcription

 * Last night at approximately 2:00 AM, local baker Stave Crumblin dialed 911 in a panic. As he was preparing for bed after a long day of recording video game commentaries for his multi-million subscriber YouTube channel, he claimed to have seen a very large muffin-shaped creature rummaging through his spice garden. "It was massive," Crumblin (Otherwise known as xxPumpkinSmasherxx on YouTube and Twitch.tv) told reporters today, gesturing to a large footprint that was found in his backyard. This sighting of yet another Armstrong County cryptid has been largely discount, however, after Journalist Tony Hawke discovered a pair of muddy Moon Shoes (tm) behind Crumblin's shed, which perfectly matched the footprint's size and markings.